Saturday, December 28, 2013

The only place I want to see is inside myself.

I just returned from a lovely trip to Jaipur and Delhi. It is Christmas week in the Christian world so I got the opportunity to take some time off. My main reason for going to these two cities was to see some friends, Annu and her daughter Naina in Jaipur, and Deepjot and Arvind in Delhi. Since I had never been to Rajasthan, I organized some sightseeing in Jaipur and one day in Pushkar (I won't go into the trip to Pushkar because it was a total disappointment...for those Indians who have seen the great movie 'OMG - Oh My God', Pushkar was a total OMG anubhaav - experience). 
Anyway, I was a little reluctant to leave Rishikesh...on one hand because I have my daily yoga classes with Usha Devi that I really enjoy but more than that, I was not feeling the desire to visit new temples, monuments, etc. As I told my Didi (big sister in Milan), the only place I feel the need to 'visit' is inside myself. Of course, I was very happy to see Annu, Naina, Deepjot, and Arvind...that goes without saying...but now that I am back home in Rishikesh, I can honestly say that I am done with sightseeing. And as much as I can appreciate the beautiful structures that man has built over the centuries (let us not forget I grew up in Italy!), the only places that really move me are the natural ones...the mountains, the seas, the forests, etc.. And sightseeing is so superficial. Running around with a guide just to hear about some ancient times that have nothing to do with who I am now. Dates and names that I will soon forget. It is one thing to live in these places, as I have lived in Italy, France, Spain, and now Rishikesh...one gets a feel of the culture and its people...it is a totally different and, at this point in my life useless, thing to 'sightsee'. I would have been just as happy to sit in a cafĂ© and chat with my friends all day. 
So I am done with sightseeing. 
To be honest, what is on the outside has only brought misery. And having seen everything on the outside and nothing on the inside, my only choice is to go inward. 

What is on the outside has brought me nothing eternal. Nothing truly meaningful. That which is on the inside is everlasting and it is there that I must go. What is on the outside is boring at best, torture at worst and in both cases, a waste of time. Time is of the essence if I am to come to any kind of understanding in this lifetime. Who knows how long it will last?