Some new year thoughts. It has become very clear to me from my yoga asana practice that what my body could do yesterday, it will not be able to do tomorrow. And that is fine with me. There comes a time when one has to realise the difference between maintaining one’s health and forcing (torturing ;-)) the body to do what it no longer wants or needs to do. My body has done so much for me and I am grateful to have been blessed with such a healthy ‘container’ in this lifetime. This body has brought me to many different countries, it has carried me up many mountains and icefalls, and down many snow-covered ski slopes. I have flown like a bird and swam like a fish in this body. Yoga asana practice, too, has been an important part of the process however, it is certainly not the only way one can become aware of the body. I am beginning to understand how everything one does with the body can connect oneself to a deeper understanding of the body and mind. For me, in my life, the Path began with mountain climbing. Yoga is a continuation of this Path.The mountains are so much more than just physical activity. I can find peace and solace just sitting and staring at a mountainside. It makes no difference to me if I am climbing to the summit or just sitting in the valley surrounded by peaks. Lately I have been feeling, deep inside myself, that I need to find this peace and solace in a different way in my yoga practice. Practicing yoga asanas for 4, 5 hours a day instead of bringing me closer to IT, is distracting me somehow. It’s hard to put into words but I can tell that my body is telling me something. It’s telling me to let go and head down a different path. This doesn’t mean I won’t be practicing my asanas. Of course I believe that a healthy mind needs a healthy body and I have kept this body healthy all through this lifetime so I am not about to just let it degenerate. That would be sacrilegious. But the time has come for a different process to come about. I have understood this thanks to yoga asanas. The body is just a body. Let it do what it can do today but don’t cling to memories of what it can no longer do and, above all, don’t force it to try. It’s a waste of time and energy. And I need the time and energy to do more important things now. Time is running out. I don’t want to waste this lifetime chasing after a physical realm.
I am missing the Vedanta classes with Siddharthaji. We have not had a class in two months. I think that is why I am feeling such an imbalance. I am trying to study by myself but somehow, it’s not enough. I have not yet reached that point where I can do ‘vedanta self-practice’ in the same way that I am able to do yoga asana self-practice. It’s like realising you have wings but not yet being able to spread them and fly solo.
This year will be a very interesting year. Bring it on.